Roller Coaster Ride

OMG!!!!!! Up and down are my emotions. I am in the middle of a conversation trying to sound smart about a subject I have no interest in. My fellow companions are very passionate about it. So I fake interest like a good friend always does. Suddenly, I blank out, a little drool glides down my chin. I have that glazed over stare that makes another wonder, "WHAT the hell is she on?" It's embarrassing to be me right now. After all I am usually cool, calm, and on it. Ha ha!!!! Not today. No I look like a deer stuck in head lights. Of all the break ups I have ever been through this one is the hardest. Mr. Cigarette hasn't called or come by to see me. Which one would think that would make it easier to get over him. But, no that's now how it works in this relationship. You see all it takes is my body craving the taste of nicotine, my mind associating a certain smell, activity, person, place, or thing and then "BOOM" I am like a rabid dog out for some insane killing spree. Roller coaster of emotions. But to hell with Mr. Cigarette I don't want him back!!!!!!!