Things He does To Make Me Cry

It's always the same, in the morning I awake grouchy and shaky. I feed the cats and dogs, start up the coffee pot, sit in front of the lap top checking my facebook messages and yahoo emails. The WESH News is on and I still feel the sense something is missing. Oh I know Mr. Cigarette is not here. Normally by the time the cats and dogs would have been fed, smoke session 2 would have been played out. By the time the coffee was done brewing smoke session 3. And on and on. Every hour two to three smoke sessions. Yes I miss our sessions of intimacy. I miss him cause he has always been apart of me, with me, in me. How do I change or forget so many years of dependency. He makes me cry because I had to choose my health or him, my money or him, my sense of control or him. For so long the answer to everything and every thought has been him. Now it's over and it makes me cry.